Monday, May 28, 2012

Family Profile Album

So last week was a bust.  Unfortunately the week came and went with no further progress on the adoption front due to J's case worker being on vacation.  This week she is back to work and I'm hopeful for things to move forward. First thing is that J will be presented with our Family Profile album . Actually, the FIRST thing will be me being "the squeaky wheel" and calling his worker repeatedly until I speak with her in person to hear the plan of attack from her. I "expect" it will go something like this...

  • J sees our family profile album (Thursday May 31st) - CHECK! :-)
  • We MEET J in a supervised 1 hour visit (Thursday June 7th) UPDATE...MONDAY JUNE 4TH - CHECK! :-)
  • 3 following Thursdays 1 hour supervised visits  WEEKLY 1 HOUR VISITS FOR JUNE
  • GOAL for July 1st is to have J at our home to celebrate Canada day for our first unsupervised visit

If I want to get VERY detailed and forward thinking I would include that I'm hopeful that our unsupervised visits with J during July can be plentiful and he can move in early in August.  AND we would receive permission for him to travel to Canada with us to visit our families this summer. I hope this isn't asking for too much.

How would we feel if this all fell into place?

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Children of God

My friend Tammy who is also in the process of adopting a handsome young man from the foster care system shared this video on facebook this morning. I've been a fan of Third Day for a long time and I love this song, but I had never seen the video. It gives an entire new meaning to the song.

Thank God I'm adopted too.

Children of God- Third Day

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Summer Bucket List

So this is a big summer for the McIntoshes. Obviously my last post explained the big news that we have been matched with J - EXCITING!!! But this is also our last summer when all of our children are heading back to school in the fall. K & T are both graduating high school in 2013.  So when I got an email from one of my favorite blogs All For the Boys about The Happy Family Movement I thought this is just what we need - a summer bucket list. We will be having visits with J so we get to know him and he gets to know us.  We want to keep things as normal as possible so I'm hoping for some really great and fun things that keep us away from most of the Florida theme parks and to keep from setting expectations too high.  Honestly we usually avoid the parks in the summer months - too hot and too crowded.

As our girls have gotten older we have had to entertain them less.  K is very happy with a great big book, biking, or swimming. T is busy with her summer babysitting job, a week at camp and this year she is adding volunteering for the month of July. R will be attending Middle School church camp this year for the first time... "Mom, promise me you won't sign up to chaperone." I know she loves me. I know she loves me. I know she loves me.

But putting J into the mix this year will require an effort for more family time. It makes me think about when the girls were little all the days spent making play doh from scratch, making crafts and painting rocks.  They really did think it was fun to hang out with mom and my ideas (yes, painting rocks) were amazing. :-) They still enjoy our family game nights and family movie nights, we just don't have them as often as we used to. T spends a fair number of nights babysitting now so unless we want to start offering to pay her to stay in for family night I'm not sure we can compete with that. I can't blame her and I can't complain. As I mentioned before she graduates next year and every dollar that is banked or spent on her own clothes is helpful.

So I'm now inspired to return to memory making mode for the sake of J and what an awesome excuse to revisit some favorite childhood pastimes with our girls.  Of course new "boyish" games and fun times will be added into the mix. So I think I will revisit my Pinterest boards and create a new Summer Bucket List board. 

Saturday, May 19, 2012

His favorite color is green.... now it's blue

So it has been too long since I have posted anything. Here's the deal. Remember way back in April? I know that was just last month but in some ways this has been an incredibly looonnnng month. We went to the Match event in April and ended up inquiring about 3 boys in total. After three initial phone consultations with our adoption specialist and each of the boy's case workers we felt one of the boys was a stand out as far as a potential match for our family.  We had a few days to talk it over and consider the limited information we had been given, then we asked our worker to please submit our home study for consideration at his match meeting which was scheduled for April 25th, just 11 days after the Match event. Things were happening fast.  We were not the only family presented as a potential match for this boy but we were the family chosen by his "people." His "people" being his case worker, her supervisor and his Guardian Ad Litem among others.  Our worker presented our home study and she wasn't eligible to vote for us. A Pins & Needles day that was.

Today (Friday May 18th, 2012) we had disclosure where we were presented with his Child Study (similar to our home study) of how he came into foster care and general info on his health, school performance and his interests and so forth.  A very general yet as specific as possible meeting. As disclosure meetings go it was fairly short, just 2 1/2 hours, due in part to his relatively brief time in care. We did receive lots of info to take home and look over with a fine tooth comb and that has been challenging.  Imagine someone handing you a thick book of your child's life - this book is filled with things you work to protect your child from experiencing as a child - heck even as an adult! I look at our girls and I am thankful for the innocence they have been able to maintain as children. I mean that.  It has always been important to me that they get to be children for as long as possible in this world where I think most children grow up way too fast. * PLEASE STEP DOWN OFF THE SOAPBOX - BEFORE YOU GET STARTED!!!!*

Why have we waited so long to share this exciting news you might be asking? Here is where it gets a little complicated.  This is what is called an "at risk" adoption placement. There is a very, very slight chance that a complication (we will not be sharing for the sake of his privacy) could result in the adoption failing. Please understand this is very unlikely and we went into this knowing full well the situation and have withheld the wonderful news of being matched because we didn't want to have to explain the complication of "at risk." After further information gained from the disclosure meeting we feel even more certain that this potential complication will become irrelevant at some point within the next 2-3 months. In the meantime we will proceed to meeting him officially - hopefully within the next two weeks.  Please insert giddy, giggliness here.  We will have a long period of "getting to know you" because that is what he is going to need.  We will be moving at his pace and his level of comfort with our family will be the guide for when we move to unsupervised visits, when he comes to spend an overnight with us and especially when he moves in - wow did I really just say that?

Of course I'd love to post an adorable photo of him and share all the wonderful things we learned about him today but obviously I'm a little restricted due to the "at risk" status. So I'm going to say this.... Uncle Edwin if you are reading this I know you will love his name as it is the name of your one and only son. :-) He is a little brother for our girls but only by 7 months younger than R. After Michael and I left the meeting today we stopped at Target on the way home and bought a big blue box of Lego's and a shiny new soccer ball. And his favorite color is green.

Rockin' the Big Sister tee

Saturday, May 5, 2012

Getting ready for the boy...

I spent today finishing up some more Pinterest ideas for the little guy's bedroom.  I did a collage of three signs and finally hung up the shadow box of Michael's old Matchbox cars. Other than adding a bed the room is ready. Now let's get that boy home.