A very uneventful exciting day...

That sounds a little like a Winnie the Pooh tale. 

So today came and went with no mention of status update to being legally free for adoption.  So are we left to assume that no news is good news? I think so. 

Tomorrow I will reach out again to his adoption worker and request a status update. You will all know when we have signed the OFFICIAL adoption placement papers, as this blog will become photo central. I will also be contacting our attorney tomorrow to make sure she has everything she needs for finalization as she was proactive and sent us paperwork ahead of time. 

*** Just to clarify adoption placement is not the same as finalization. Adoption placement means just that - he is officially 'placed' in our home for adoption nothing more nothing less. However, because he has been 'placed' as a non-relative more than 90 days we can proceed immediately from adoptive placement to finalization. ***

Thanks for caring enough to check in. I know many of you have been praying for us as we have inched towards today's deadline. I even received a beautiful card of encouragement in today's mail from a very sweet and thoughtful friend. The timing could not have been better - you know who you are - thank you. 

Please stay tuned as I will update when there is anything to report.

Mini timeline update time -

Dec 13th or 14th sign adoptive placement paperwork

Sometime during the week of December 16th - FINALIZATION!

Happy Thanksgiving

Today is American Thanksgiving. As has become our Thanksgiving tradition we celebrated with our friends who are like family, the McClains. Once again they opened their home to family and friends to celebrate and be thankful together. Here is part of our family's contribution to the massive feast we enjoyed for the entire afternoon. Veggie turkey with thanks to Pinterest.

We have some very amazing things to be thankful for this year. First and foremost we are all thankful for the fact that our family is healthy and safe. There are many things in the routine of our lives that we do not take time to be thankful for. That comfy, warm bed I woke up in this morning, the warm, clean water that cascaded in my shower this morning and the fluffy white towel I used to dry off with. Those are such mundane, taken for granted luxuries. The fact that I can flip a switch and have light and can adjust the temperature of my home with the push of a button. We have a choice of two vehicles to go where we need to be so my husband can travel to his job that provides not only for all our needs and many of our wants as well.

I addition to these things we often take for granted there is the miracle of being able to expand our family this year. We are now just weeks away from finalizing S's adoption. I took his suit pants to the tailor earlier this week. As described in his words, "That was awkward." :-)

In preparation for adoption placement after Dec 5th S requires a current (within the last 6 months) physical. We looked after that this week. From that appointment we determined that he needs his eyes tested. I already had my suspicions about this, a benefit of homeschooling. I had even already talked to the receptionist at our optometrist about wait time to get him in post adoption when he will be on our insurance. Now that it is a documented medical need I have to try to have him seen by an optometrist prior to adoptive placement. Not a big deal just another appointment that we have tomorrow.

Tomorrow will be annother fun filled day decorating for Christmas. This will involve baking cookies, hot cocoa and hot almond milk for K. As much as I'm looking forward to the day of decorating being S's first Christmas with us. I have a few concerns about the girls getting out all of their sentimental ornaments and memory filled crafts. S won't have anything in our boxes this year. He will never catch up to his sisters collections and we know that he is a sentimental boy. I'm sure there will be times throughout the holidays that will remind him of holidays in his past spent in foster homes or with his birth mom. He doesn't share these thoughts but I want to remind myself that even if he doesn't voice his feelings his emotions can come out in behaviors and I want to try not to be so involved in the joy and excitement of the season to overlook all that his little heart is missing. I'm thankful today that he will hear the reason for the season this year and understand the "Christ" in Christmas. Thanksgiving is not about Black Friday tomorrow and Christmas certainly isn't about the presents we receive. There are many holiday seasons ahead of us where new memories and new traditions will be established.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

So close..... the countdown is on.

So I'm sure this is just my life and no one reading this could possibly be as busy as me. Just kidding of course, I know you are all very busy. It is our lot in life choosing to be all things to all people. Wanting to be the best mom in the world, the doting wife, a great friend and then collapsing into bed each night only to repeat the cycle of fulfilling needs the next day. So this is my excuse for not making the time to update the blog. But I'm here so prepare yourselves to be updated.

September and October were ruled by cheerleading practices, football games and cheerleading competitions for R and baseball practices and games for S. I honestly don't know how families who aren't homeschooling do it. At least I have control of testing days and allowing them to sleep in until they are rested enough to get up and start their school day. Listening to the other cheer moms talk about homework and tests their daughters needed to stay up until midnight preparing for just made me feel so bad. How do middle schoolers get enough rest to do well on a test they have studied for until midnight? The general consensus among the other moms was that they are really looking for grades to go up in the second 9 weeks of school now that cheer is over. That said I have enjoyed watching both our youngest children grow and flourish in their chosen sports. I admit I had no understanding of how tough cheerleading is. My biggest reward for S playing baseball for the first time on a team is watching how his team has rallied around him. When he hits a double or makes a great snag in right field - he did both of these things in his last game - hearing his teammates and the parents in the stands cheer for him does my heart good. They all know he is new to the sport while the other boys have been playing for many years. Considering his lack of experience he has had an awesome season and his last game is tomorrow night. Michael has been able to help out assisting the coaches on S's team and this has been a good time of bonding for them. I love this picture of them in the dugout.

Here's a before and after shot of my fresh faced twelve year old cheerleader and then the same sweet girl complete with competition make up - have mercy!

During these months the big girls have kept pretty low key. T went to homecoming - and has been applying to colleges. ** Insert proud but teary eyed mom face here. ** K decided she didn't want to go to homecoming this year and she is still debating whether or no she will attend her senior prom. These are hard moments. I want her to have success and friendships but it is a different road for her. She is however really enjoying her career class at school where she is working in medical records at a local hospital four days each week. Her favorite part of this is that they have free lunch in the hospital cafeteria each Tuesday. Oh and she has a special magnetic pass that allows her into restricted areas at  the hospital. 

So now you are all caught up on life in general. How about a good ol' adoption update? We went back to court - yes we did. It is getting to be a very familiar routine. This last time was a Super Duper Hooray we've (almost) done it day in court. We were in court on November 5th. The next to final step before S is legally free for adoption is complete. Now we wait until December 5th for him to be free and clear and OURS!!!! After December 5th we will go to court one LAST time - oh and rest assured I will be telling all of my children this had better be their last time in court, unless of course they too adopt someday. :-) This final court date when we appear in front of the judge for official finalization and adoption we will be decked out in our Sunday best. Honestly, we usually wear jeans to church so this will be better than our Sunday best. Michael and S both got new suits and the girls and I are working on getting our outfits court ready. There WILL be photos taken. And you can bet this blog will be overflowing with months worth of photos I haven't been able to share - I mean seriously how annoying is it to keep seeing the back, the hand, a foot of my son? He does have an adorable face and I should be posting his sweet little mug right here in about 1 month - that feels crazy good to say.

Just for kicks how about one of my famous (infamous?) timelines?

December 5th, 2012 - S declared legally free for adoption
Sometime before Christmas - adoption becomes finalized - YAHOO!!!

There should be no reason that this is not achievable. Prayers are still appreciated to ensure no bumps in the road delay anything further. Michael, K (now that she is 18) and I all went for fingerprinting background screens last week. That's done! S needs a current physical prior to adoptive placement so that's the only thing left to be done on our end. I hope to look after that in the next week or so.

One other little update. Report cards came out last week. Being that R and S have never been homeschooled before this year, they really wanted report cards too. So they got them. I noticed S looking his over with rather an unusal look on his face and I immediately felt inadequate in the very simple report I had crafted on a speadsheet. I apologized that it didn't look exactly look like his usual report cards. He looked at me and said, "No mom, I've just never had one without F's and D's before." Well alright then. A's and B's - I'm just saying!

How you doin?

Yesterday we went to Michael's work picnic of sorts. It was a beautiful sunny day with blue skies and temps nearing 80 degrees. Perfect for a company picnic at Busch Gardens. We went on a few rides then met with Michael's co-workers for a lunch where the kids had caricatures sketched. I have always wanted to do this and having the opportunity to get them as freebies was a no brainer. We finished off the day with more rides and finished with a very wet ride on the Congo River Rapids, Michael and K got the worst of it. We all got very wet but they were soaked without a spot of dry on them from head to toe.

I know I've said I can't post pics of S yet - but I'm thinking these likenesses wouldn't identify any of my children. :-) I love them and can't wait to get them framed and displayed.

There are so many updates I need to do - but time has not been on my side lately. I just wanted to do this quick little fun post and I'll get back into the serious matters at hand in a future post. Maybe even later today. 

Just for fun, how ironic is this "Joey" kangaroo we spotted lounging about at BG yesterday?

"How you doin?"

Lifebooks

K has a lifebook. A lifebook is the story of your life - your old life, pre-adoption. A life, that depending on your age when you are adopted, you may not have any recollection of. K was fortunate to have an adoption worker who did research to form a birth family tree. Her worker also got as much family medical background as possible from the most reliable source in the family. I was very blessed to have made friends with the Case Aide who took K for visits with her birth mom. This friend took my camera on one visit and took photos of K and her birth mom together. These are pictures that after 18 years K has not yet seen. She knows we have them. We have told her about them and said she can see them anytime she would like. Her response has always been. "Okay, not right now." You know what? It is okay. The thing is we have the photos and I'm thankful for them and someday maybe K will want to see them - maybe not, but it will be her choice.

This week I have started making a lifebook with S. This is a different experience. We are on our own with his memories and my computer. I have put out a request to all of the professionals involved with him. Asking for stories about him and especially for photos. I haven't received any replies yet but I'm hopeful that some of them will be able to contribute to his lifebook. Yesterday was fun. S was born in Puerto Rico and we spent some time in virtual exploration of the area where he was born and printed off photos of two hospitals where he may have been born. He liked seeing the national bird and fun facts about Puerto Rico. He made four or five pages of this information and couldn't wait to share it with all his sisters and his dad. He was very proud. It felt good that he was learning all this information for the first time and that it made him so happy. Today we added a copy of his original birth certificate. After his adoption is finalized this birth certificate will become null and void and a new birth certificate listing Michael and I as his parents will replace it. In addition to the birth certificate, today I gave him photos of his birth mom. That was a big surprise to him. He is quietly working on these pages now. Because he was so excited to share the pages he made yesterday, I told him he doesn't need to share anything further unless he wants to. I wanted him to feel free to write whatever he wanted on these pages with photos of his birth mom. We will also start taking his lifebook to his weekly therapy appointments so he can show it to his therapist and hopefully create an atmosphere for open conversation about things in his book.

******************INSERT TIME LAPSE****************

So he finished today's pages. I won't lie, there were tears. He misses his birth mom and he worries about her. We had a little chat about her and I told him again how it is okay to talk with us about her anytime he wants to. We try to encourage him to tell us stories, happy, sad, scary, whatever. We just want him to feel free to talk about his life with her. Most of his memories are scattered. I asked him when he last saw his birth mom and he said he didn't know, but he thought it was before he went to his last foster home. I'm thinking he still had supervised visitation with birth mom up until February of this year. I'm not sure if either of us is right but hopefully someone can shed some light on his visits with her. Tomorrow I hope to get him to write a memory page - just one very short story about when he lived with his birth mom. There's not much he detests more than writing so I'm going to offer up my computer for him to type a memory of his birth mom.

If you have adopted or you are thinking about it - here is a very basic introduction to lifebooks. Because of his age S will have much more to contribute to his lifebook if he chooses to. I hope he will have pages for each of his foster home placements, and a few mementos like this sweet little note his teacher wrote to him at the end of the school year.

Welcoming friends....

Want to know how to make an 11 year old boy have a great big smile and melt into a puddle of giggles with his knees drawn up tightly to his chest so he can bury his sweet little face? Tell him that while he and dad were spending the morning at his baseball game, Mom was at a "welcoming shower." As you are explaining to him that this means friends of our family did this to welcome him to our family, have his sisters walk into the room carrying brightly wrapped packages all for him. Watch him as he sits and looks at the parcels and absorbs the moment before you finally have to tell him he can open them. He is  looking at the gifts and cards on the table with some combination of excitement, happiness, joy and confusion about what to do with all of these.

I wish I had taken photos of his gifts. I did take a video of him opening them so we will have that to look back on later. Here is his awesome baseball cake at the shower.

It felt just a little bit like Christmas in September and no one cared that all the gifts were for the little guy. It also provided an opportunity to discuss when the girls were each born/adopted and how each of them entering our family was celebrated. R and I even went on a search for her (nearly empty) baby book. We filled in a little info we could and she really liked choosing pictures to put for each year. I know I may be in the minority here, but I'm not a scrapbooker and I had fun doing this with my 12 year old daughter allowing her to choose her favorite photos. She is also going to do her own write ups for each year of school. Not sure why a "baby book" covers school until 6th grade but it will be a fun activity for her. So any of you overwhelmed mommy's out there thinking bad thoughts about yourselves for not completing your baby books, you might just want to cut yourselves some slack and wait until your "baby" is old enough to do it with you. I promise you will both enjoy it.

What happened to the McIntoshes?

RATHER THAN A NEW POST I DECIDED JUST TO UPDATE THIS ONE POST COURT...

We are still here, plugging away at the daily grind. It's just that our daily grind has been given a strong boot and the daily grind is more of a daily marathon. Summer vacation is over, well vacation is over. Although the calendar says autumn has officially arrived we live in Florida, so summer is never really over. For sure vacation is over and the kids are back to school - in one way or another. This year our two oldest girls are both seniors - Canadian readers this means grade 12. **wink** So that is an entirely new thing with happy days and sad days reflecting on what this means for our family. I am so not going there today. Grad rings, yearbooks, graduation photos, homecoming (Canadians - no I can't explain Homecoming - it seems Americans just like to start AND end the school year with a prom.) All of this, times two daughters. Add in college applications (Canadian translation University applications) AP, SAT and ACT tests.... It's a busy school year. K is taking a computer class in graphic design and she is LOVING it! She is even talking about continuing education with training in this area. That is very exciting to us and I'm looking into it! Here is one of Kennedy's sketches. She is having fun using her art work in the class.

As for the younger two we have taken the leap into homeschool. K & T were homeschooled in NB until grade 3 and 4 when they entered public school. With S having minimal exposure to school prior to being in foster care and with English being his second language he is significantly behind so I decided to take this one year at a time and see how it goes. R decided on her own that she would like to be homeschooled. She is much more independent in her studies and gets through her work with minimal support. I’m pretty sure she has already decided that she plans to return to public school next year, though she says she enjoys sleeping in and finishing her work much earlier than her middle school friends. Plus she never has homework - when she is done her work we stop. Period. 

So that’s school.  We now have two athletes in the house. S plays baseball. FOR THE YANKEES!!! He is thrilled that is the team he was put on - Michael not so much :-( But I guess he wasn’t too discouraged as he signed up to volunteer as an assistant coach. I can’t imagine Michael wearing a Yankees cap - oh the shame. 

R is cheerleading this year. Yes my little tomboy is a cheerleader. She has practice 6 hours a week and a game every Saturday. I have to admit their workouts and practices are intense. So those two are keeping us hopping. Add in T and her babysitting and being a two car family is stretching us. 

So there it is, school. sports, babysitting... what else, oh yes we are still going through the adoption process. It is indeed a process. There are days that S feels like ours and I forget that basically he is just a little boy who sleeps at our house and eats us out of house and home - seriously that boy can eat as much as all three of the girls put together. I wish I was exaggerating. One amusing little tidbit is that we used to have a few grapes left in the fridge, one lonely banana on the counter, enough milk for half a glass because the girls were polite to a fault to leave a little something for the next person. This is not something we encouraged - frankly it’s a little annoying because those last little bits spoil because no one takes them. Suffice it to say this is no longer a problem. Now the problem is - “Mom didn’t you buy bananas yesterday?” “Mom we are out of milk.” The new little man has no problem eating the last of anything, in fact he prides himself on it. 

Next week we have another judicial review at court. Hoping for some big news this time out. The goal for court next week is to alleviate all remaining issues surrounding the at risk portion of S’s adoption. Will you indulge me in yet another of my timelines? 

September 25th Court in the morning - and Happy Birthday Blake!  I hope Blake's birthday was happier than our court day. We woke up early and drove into Tampa and went through security. Waited for our boy's name to be called then went into the courtroom for (maybe) two minutes. The result ANOTHER court date for November 5th. 

October 25th - if  Sept 25 court went well placement status can officially change from non-relative to adoptive placement.  Not going to happen.

October 25th - 90 days living with us - adoption can be finalized at any point.  Also not going to happen.

November - I’d love to finalize S’s adoption at any point this month. November is National Adoption Awareness month, so it’s even more special.  I hate to be repetitive but NOT HAPPENING! This one makes me sad because I really was hoping for finalization on such a special day when the courtrooms are filled with families all finalizing and happy. Suffice it to say family court is not the happiest place on earth, though it makes for very interesting people watching while you wait for your case to be called. 

December - IF November’s goal didn’t happen then I would hope for finalization before Christmas. Merry Christmas. There is still the teeny tiniest chance for this - really teeny tiny. We really want this adoption wrapped up in 2012. The new best case scenario is that S be proclaimed legally free for adoption on November 5th and his placement status changed from non-relative to adoptive placement on December 5th (conincidentally my birthday) then there would be the rush to finalize before the end of the year. I repeat this is highly unlikely - but we continue to believe that with God all things are possible and we will be praying for finalization in 2012.  

So that’s it in a nutshell - a nut shell - yes that’s a good word to describe what we are in. A nutty little life that is constraining us while we wait out all of the requirements. A life of ordinary (church, work, school, sports...) and not so ordinary (therapists, Guardian ad litems, adoption workers, case workers, judges, foster parents...) We go where others tell us to go and do what they tell us to do. Challenging for my personality. Hush now, I can hear you laughing!